


What Could Have Been

by jotchLIFE



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Companion Piece, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jotchLIFE/pseuds/jotchLIFE
Summary: Still to this day, even though it had been three years, JJ couldn't believe the loss she was feeling.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Jennifer "JJ" Jareau





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is sort of a companion piece to 'Lost', but you don't have to have read it to understand this story. It literally took me thirty minutes to write this, so there really wasn't any revising involved. I hope it doesn't suck too bad. Thanks for checking this out, and please review!

Cold. That's how JJ felt waking up on Tuesday morning… but it had nothing to do with the temperature of the small apartment. And though her body shook, it wasn't from lack of heat. It was from not being able to stop the sobs that were suddenly overwhelming. 

Still to this day, even though it had been three years, JJ couldn't believe the loss she was feeling. Nothing could describe the heartache of losing her sweet baby. 

Street was there, by her side in an instant. He stroked her hair, and repeated over and over, "I'm right here." Even as he held her in his arms, JJ couldn't stop the crying. It was comforting, knowing that he was there, and that he cared, but he could never understand… because it wasn't his baby. They hadn't been together at the time, hadn't even met at that point. So, he didn't know the pain she was feeling.

She thought she was okay. She thought she had moved on, to some extent… but today marked three years. Even though she knew this day was coming, it still hit her like a ton of bricks. It was something she couldn't prepare herself for. 

JJ even blamed herself for what happened. Deep down she knew it was a tragedy that no one could have prevented, but she had to cast the blame somewhere.

She would have had a daughter. Well, it hadn't been confirmed that it was a girl… but JJ knew. She just knew that it had been a baby girl. And it tore her heart to pieces because she could picture what her baby would have looked like, how she would have looked as she grew throughout the years. It killed her to think about how close she came to having it all.

It felt like it took a lifetime to pull herself together. She gave Street a small smile of thanks, and forced herself to get dressed for the day. She knew she could call in sick, Street reminded her of that, but there was someone else who was hurting just as much as she was. Someone else who felt the same heartache, and she needed to see him, needed to be there for him. 

The drive to work flew by. Honestly, JJ couldn't remember leaving the apartment, but she suddenly found herself in her usual parking spot, and then riding the elevator to the sixth floor. 

She didn't speak to her colleagues, she couldn't bring herself to fake a smile. So, ignoring their worried looks, JJ climbed the stairs to the balcony, and went straight into his office without knocking. 

The second she met his chocolate eyes, the tears started falling again. "Aaron." He was out of his seat and wrapping his arms around her within seconds. 

As the tears streamed down JJ's face, she could feel his as he rested his cheek against her own. No words were spoken as they simply held each other, seeking some sort of comfort to soothe their aching hearts. 

At some point, the two moved over to the small couch, but they never released each other. Even after JJ finished crying, more tears than she ever thought possible, she couldn't bring herself to break that contact. It was something that she had come to rely on for that one day each year. 

JJ was happy with her life with Street. She had moved on and found a sort of normalcy. She loved Street, more than she could ever express… but that one day, each year, she allowed herself to ponder what could have been. 


End file.
